Personal Post Cleverly Disguised as a Crafty Post

Look what I finally finished!  I've been in love with this pillow ever since I saw the tutorial Blair over at Wise Craft came up with, and I knew as soon as I saw it that I needed to have this cushion.  And it only took me...3 months to make.  Oh uh, yeah.

Anyways, I'm a little bummed by it, in a way.  Not because it didn't turn out exactly like what I wanted.  Not because the project was hard or the tutorial was difficult to follow.  This is the most perfect little pillow made from a fantastic little tutorial.

Trying to make up all these discs in different colour combinations wound up being more difficult than I thought it would.

No, I'm bummed because I've finished it just in time to either pack up, sell, give away, or toss all of the lovely stuff I've accumulated in my pretty (if often messy) little apartment and move.  Because I can't just move somewhere in the city, or a province over or anything.  No, I decided to move to the Yukon, and I'm going to have to severely edit what I bring with me.

Putting the discs together.

I never mentioned it on my blog at all, but I lost my job at the end of April.  Which, as it turns out, was a blessing in disguise.  I didn't realize just how miserable I was there until they slapped that piece of paper in front of me and said they were letting me go.  

Here's one side, all stitched together. This is the back side, so all of those ridges will be hidden. I attached the discs together using the crochet method shown here.

Everyone, I'm an emotional person.  I get that from my Mom.  When I'm happy, I cry.  When I'm sad, I cry.  When I'm frustrated, I cry.  When I'm stressed, I cry.  When I have to talk to people who make me nervous, I cry.  It's pathedic.  And then, because I hate getting emotional (I get that from my Dad) I get angry at myself.  Which makes me just cry more, and it's this awful downward spiral of tears and snot.

I didn't shed a single tear when they let me go.  In fact, from what I heard, I was calm and relaxed and somewhat happy looking.  That says something right there, eh?

Stitching the two sides assembled sides together, using the same method to join the discs together. I left one side open to insert the pillow.

Anyways, I've been in a sort of long-distance, not-really-dating-but-sort-of-crazy-about-eachother, THING with an old friend who lives in the Yukon.  Way back in March, I decided that I was going to take the risk and move up there to see if this Maybe Thing had any potential to go anywhere.  Of course, I was planning on waiting until the fall so that I could, you know, save up some money for the move, but uh...then I lost my job.

I made an insert using an old pillow case, cut down to size.  I made it a smidge bit larger than the cushion shell, since the crocheted sides will stretch a bit.  By using an old pillow case, I only had to stitch up two sides.  Can you see the mistake I made?  (HINT: This is still unstuffed.)

So I'm in the process of finding a job.  In typical Heather luck, I managed to find a place to live before I even found a job.  The vacancy in Whitehorse is something like 0.2%, and most places are rented out before they're even advertised.  But my friend up there found me a room to rent at a rate you generally won't find anywhere else in the city, and I've jumped on it.  Especially since he's sure that I'll get on with the person who owns the place.

Stitching up the opening after stuffing the inside lining, sewing it closed on the machine (Note to self: stitch by hand next time), and stuffing the lining into the crochet pillow case.

What does this all have to do with my throw pillow?  Well, it means that I've finished it at about the time that I need to start clearing out stuff.  Will that include this lovely pillow?  I don't know.  I hope not.  I'm gutted to have to get rid of anything, to be honest, because I was expecting to live here for a few years at least, and was finally starting to invest in the things I want, instead of whatever cheapo stuff I could find on a student budget.  I'm already devistated that I have to get rid of this awesome couch that I hunted down online and fought to get back here. I look around my apartment, trying to talk myself into starting to deal with my stuff, and I just get...well, I already told you about the emotional thing.

And I don't even know what this means for my sewing stuff.

While in university, I would move on average of twice a year.  The 2.5 years I lived in Kingston was the longest I'd stayed in one place in a decade.  I should be used to this, right? Used to picking up and starting all over, right?  And it's just 'stuff'.

Then why am I feeling so gutted this time?  I'm pretty sure it's because I kept telling myself that as soon as I'm done school, I'll get a job and my own place and settle, which has been a dream for a looong time.  And I had that.  But...

But I wasn't happy.  The job I had settled for kept me too busy to spend time with my family, which was the whole reason I chose to stay here in the first place.  And I was scratching at the 'what if I'd moved up there' itch.  So I'm going.


I just wish I could pick up my entire pretty place and take it all up there with me when I do.  Pretty throw pillow and all.

*~~*~~*

ETA: Look what I found while sorting through stuff.  Apparently I was planning on being a storyteller and illustrator when I grew up!

My writing: RAR RBRROERARR HEATHER

Interpretation: Red and purple elephants eating up your hair